How To Choose The Right Toilet

How To ChooseThe Right Toilet

There are three deep questions that will forever puzzle you your entire grown up life:

1. Do I have free will?

2. What should I do with my life?

3. What kind of toilet should I buy?

Today we will talk about the answers to question 3 because it is definitely the most difficult of the three.  Plus, your average peep won’t take philosophy advice from a plumbing company, and I’m not willing to have my genius go to waste.  ONWARDS!

Tank Type

Choosing a tank can be difficult.  Everyone wants an epic tank, one that would empower someone to stand in front of à la Tiananmen Square.  Really?  Does everyone want that?  Truth be told, most people probably just want an efficient, affordable setup, except for that one guy in the corner over there: he wants a toilet that empowers him.  His name’s Tim.  Anyways, tank toilets and slim-tank toilets have one thing in common: they employ gravity.  Slim tanks just take up less space working their magic.  When you flush the toilet, the reservoir empties out and charges into the bowl at a rapid rate causing the siphon to suck all the waste into the sewer line.  Ain’t that a tasty morsel of toilet info?  Those are your first two options.  Then, there’s the high-tank toilets.  You’ll see these in older buildings because  they are an older technology, but gosh they look vintage and NEAT.   And finally, there’s the tankless option.  You’ve seen these in public restrooms.  They’re powerful, but expensive and LOUD.  Not exactly a popular option for a humble home, especially because the setup isn’t always compatible with residential plumbing as they often need a mechanical pump or other flush-assist technology to make it all happen.  TL;DR: You should choose a tank or slim-tank toilet, unless your name is Tim.

Flush Style

Single flush or dual-flush.  The main choice you have to make here is, ‘Do I want to make a choice everytime I flush?’  A choice that leads to an infinite amount of choices for your future–you can’t go wrong there, right?  RIGHT!  If you decide on a dual-flush system, then everytime you flush you decide whether to sauce out a full flush or a low flush.  We won’t delve into the details there, as I think we all can figure out when to do a full flush: when you accidentally drop that nasty delicious fruitcake that your auntie hatefully lovingly gave you.  Wrong.  BAD. BAD BOY.  NEVER flush anything but waste down a toilet.  Do you know what it could do to your pipes?  TL;DR: Don’t flush a fruitcake, even especially if it tastes like cement. (Because it could be cement.)

Type of Seat

Compact seats are unforgiving.  Stay away from their charm of taking up less space because frankly they will destroy you.  Go for comfort and pickup an elongated toilet seat as part of your porcelain throne.  Your royal heinie will thank you and you will thank your royal heinie as a result.  TL;DR: You have a royal heinie.  Don’t you ever forget that.

Color

Whaaaat?  I’m not going to tell you what colour to choose.  That’s a secretTL;DR: Make a decision, you adult.  Or ask your mom.

Other Features

6 words: heated seat, bidet wash, LED lighting.  Do you want to go in style?  Then add these 3 sick hookups and you’ll be living the lux toilet life.  Your toilet will make dreams come true and truth come into your dreams.  TL;DR: That was not too long, go back and read it.  It’s def worth it.

If you have any questions or just want to chat about fruitcake cement, be sure to call or text us at 289-244-9843, because at Go Green Plumbing, we are always happy to help.

About The Author

Fraser is the web developer and graphic designer for Go Green Plumbing. He is a husband, father, tech-lover and frequent viewer of cat videos on YouTube. Sometimes, he adds a sentence to make a paragraph look better.

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